Do you remember those hidden camera-style coffee commercials in the eighties, supposedly filmed at a high-end restaurant, in which they’d replace the customers’ usual coffee with instant crystals?  At the end all of the guests who would traditionally eschew instant coffee were stunned.  It is with this idea in mind that I serve tofu to non-vegetarians.  I’ve seen men who will eagerly and unabashedly gobble down pickled animal appendages with glee Fear Factor-style.  Offer them tofu and watch them quake.  They think chewing on something made from a bean just isn’t masculine, but chomping on the testicles of another mammal, well, that’s quite butch.

This is why if it can be avoided, I shy away from telling non-vegetarians if my spread is made of tofu.  (Assuming they don’t have a soy allergy, of course.)  I go covert, calling it anything but tofu.  “It’s a savory spread,” or “It’s rosemary and sage dip,” or “It’s called Autumn Puree.”  In certain company, even mutter that it comes from a soybean, and you may be taking home more dip than you bargained for. 

With that in mind, call it what you will.  The Savory Tofu Spread in Vegan Table is filled with the tastes of fall: sage, rosemary, thyme, basil, oregano.  It has the wonderful flavors of stuffing, but in a creamy spread perfect for hearty bread or crackers.  This is a recipe I’ll be making for winter holiday get-togethers and potlucks.  It is based on a spread served at Millennium Restaurant in San Francisco, one of my favorite restaurants in the world.  Whenever I visit the Bay area, that’s a must-do.  Now I can have a little taste of it in my own kitchen.  (By the way, the recipe calls for 2 ounces of tofu.  That’s a misprint.  It should be 12 ounces.)

I served the spread with homey Split Pea Soup, packed with carrots, potatoes, and celery and seasoned with marjoram, basil, and parsley.  In lieu of liquid smoke, I added a few pinches of smoked salt to each bowl.    Next time I’ll puree all or part of this comforting soup for an even creamier texture.  Nothing takes a soup to the next level as easily as blending it.

This soup & cracker combo is a quintessential All-American fall meal.  Just don’t say the T-word and beware of hidden cameras…