In celebration of Vegan MoFo, I’m doing a month of themed dinner party ideas! The theme of the first week is… The Wizard of Oz! Read on for a Wicked Witch of the West Mango Smoothie.
The Wicked Witch of the West was having a bad day. Not terribly surprising considering this is a woman whose own parents named her Wicked Witch. Who does that? And then they gave her sister the same name – Wicked Witch. The only way they could tell the two apart was by adding in the location of the girls’ bedrooms. (Can you imagine being one of the girls’ friends and calling them on the telephone? What a hassle. “Hello, can I speak with the Wicked Witch?” “Which one?” “Um, of the West.” I don’t know. Maybe they weren’t exactly suffering with phone calls.)
The point is, the Wicked Witch was having what she referred to as – a day. First off, the weather was crappy – windy, gale-like, huge gusts. If you think the traffic is bad on the 405 during a rainstorm, you really don’t want to know what it’s like in an actual tornado. There was an old woman knitting, some guys rowing a boat… It was chaos.
Once she was finally out of it, she got the message from one of the Winged Monkeys that her sister had been involved in a house vs. witch accident. These things happen, of course, but you never imagine that it’s going to be your sister. As if things could get worse, the accident happened in Munchkinland. I don’t have to tell you – those people are irritating with their little songs, and the giggling, and the sleeping in flowers. I know the word “twee” gets bandied about a lot these days, but those people live it.
So she gets to Munchkinland, amongst much singing and dancing and hullaballoo about their road. (It’s just a walkway, people. It’s not exactly the Autobahn.) Lo and behold, there is her sister in a very macabre scene with her feet dangling out from beneath a house. As per usual, Miss Goody (Givin’ Away Your) Two Shoes was there with some girl whose ensemble must have been ripped from Picnic Blanket Ensembles, Incorporated. Quicker than you can say inheritance, the Shoe Stealer of the Midwest is heading down the much ballyhooed road wearing the Wicked Witch of the East’s garish footwear.
The witch used all of the means she could to get back what was rightfully hers. She even went the route so many men use for proposals and wrote her message in the sky. (Did you know she was the original sky-writer? True story.) But Oz must have had an old grudge against the witch, or perhaps he admired her ingenuity and thought there would be no way Dorothy and her band of newfound friends could kill her. All we know is that in the process of trying to gainfully retrieve what was hers, it got mangled and the local jurisdiction encouraged the girl to steal the only other valuable thing the witch owned – her broomstick. (I know how she feels. Someone stole my mop once. I was pretty heartbroken.)
The Wicked Witch was hoping when she brought in the enormous hourglass to the Kansas native’s guestroom that she might see reason. Instead? Well, to be fair, I don’t know why a woman who can be killed by water would leave a bucket of the stuff just laying around her house. (Especially considering she wasn’t exactly well liked by her staff.) But that’s not even the point. The point is the Wicked Old Witch was liquidated that day – from pest to puddle. And the rest is history.
A big thank you to the incredibly talented Allison Craig for designing the updated party version of the Cadry’s Kitchen banner (which she also created)!
Today is the last day to enter the EZ Tofu Press giveaway! Don’t miss out! The contest ends October 2, 2012 at 12:01 a.m.