A few months ago, I took over David’s old phone. (He was upgrading to a new work phone.) It was faster, could hold more data, and probably better in every way.
But within a few hours of owning it, I wanted to head back to the phone store and revert to my old one once again.
I had to upload the apps I needed, move all of the icons around to where I expected them to be, re-sign on to everything, and get used to the changes between old and new.
Even when there are positive reasons for change – it can feel uncomfortable. The pull of “what we’re used to” is so strong, it can be hard to fight against it.
And many of us are like that. We like to park in the same parking spots, sleep on the same side of the bed, and sit at the same places in movie theatres, classes, or restaurants.
How often does Facebook change its layout and while they roll it out, you see person after person complaining about these shifts?
And of course, all of these examples are on minutiae. What about the bigger stuff?
People often stay in relationships that don’t serve them or continue with habits that sabotage them, because doing what we’ve always done is the path of least resistance. And fighting against inertia is hard – even when it’s ultimately what you want.
That’s why every year by the end of January the resolutions are as long forgotten and discarded as the 2017-shaped glasses you wore on New Year’s Eve. It takes stamina to commit to real, lasting change.
So it’s no wonder that when people go vegan, often the hardest part is creating new habits. Because as humans, we love our habits. They don’t take thought. We can go on automatic…
Tacos on Tuesday, pizza on Friday, ice cream when you’re stressed, steak on your birthday, eggs and toast at breakfast… When you go vegan, all of a sudden those mundanities have to be questioned – again and again.
They say it takes 21 days to create a habit.
When I went vegetarian, which was a year and a half before I went vegan, I looked to that as my guide.
When I woke up and felt frustrated that I no longer knew what to make for breakfast, I reminded myself that in 21 days this would feel natural. But that gauge wasn’t accurate for me.
According to one study, it actually takes 18 to 254 days to create a new habit. That’s a big gap! The average was 66 days. The variance largely depended on how big of a lifestyle shift the new habit required.
Unlike deciding to make your bed every day, for example, the thing about becoming vegan is that it’s not one habit you’re changing.
On the one hand, yes, you’re not eating animal products. But that can cover a lot of habits – what cleaning products you use, what clothes you wear or don’t, what restaurants or attractions you visit or don’t, and what foods you eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
For me I’d say it took a full year of vegetarianism until I really felt in the groove, where I had a new normal.
Each season has its challenges.
Part of the reason for that is each season has its own challenges that first year.
There’s the first meatless Thanksgiving, where you’re veering off the standard dishes you’ve made again and again. You’re figuring out what will be your centerpiece now that your favorite turkey lives at a sanctuary.
Then there’s Christmas when you may worry what your relatives will think when you bring something different to the yearly potluck.
There’s Easter without the ham. The work cookout with a side of jokes at your expense.
That first year, not only are there day to day decisions about what your regular, standard meals are going to look like, but there are the specifics of the season and what you’ve created as your regular life up until now.
With each season you have to face the question, “What is my tradition now?”
Becoming vegan
Making the leap from vegetarian to vegan was smoother for me. My dishes were almost there. They just needed a few simple substitutions, tweaks, or omissions. And I’d already gotten used to navigating social events.
It probably took less than 21 days for that habit to get cemented.
Most importantly, I’d already gained an arsenal of knowledge about the animal industry, and the ways animals are treated. I knew I didn’t want to be part of that.
If you want an excuse, there will always be one. But once you are truly convinced that you want to live a compassionate life, and you are committed to doing no harm, no excuse would be good enough.
This summer I celebrated 10 years of being vegan.
Over that course of time, my day to day meals have shifted. The things that I ate as a first year vegan are different from what I eat now.
That first year, I pulled out a cookbook every Saturday to figure out how to make tempeh sausages, or to see the measurements on a tofu scramble. Now I never make tempeh at all (I just don’t care for it much).
And I certainly don’t need measurements for a tofu scramble. It’s something I know by heart.
The first year, I took cooking classes, and waded the waters of vegan cheese (which ten years ago were nothing to write home about). But now cooking vegan meals – simple and complicated – comes easy.
These days, being vegan is as cozy as my favorite towel, fraying at the edges. (It is so soft and fits in my ears just right.)
Veganism is my every day, normal, ordinary life.
It’s the difference between learning to ride a bike as a kid and riding a bike now as an adult. It’s effortless.
I know how to find something vegan to eat on a seemingly sparse menu of options.
If I’m buying a new product, I can scan for non-vegan ingredients in a microsecond glance. It’s like a vegan super power – able to spot “whey” in a single glimpse.
But when you’re becoming vegan, it can feel like putting on a pair of shoes that aren’t broken in yet. It’s a little rigid, not quite comfortable.
So if you’re new to veganism and it feels strange or different, take comfort in the fact that it will get easier. It’s part of the process. Like puberty, it’s not going to last forever.
It may take a little longer or a little shorter for it to feel natural, but you’ll get there.
At some point being vegan will just be how it’s always been. You’ll look back at your old ways and be surprised that it took you so long to make a change.
Leah
I am a 11 year old animal lover and I really, really want to go vegan! I never want to cause harm to an animal. Their naturally kind, pure souls deserve love and compassion, not the slaughterhouse. I have cut hamburgers out of my diet(cows are my second favorite animal, next to dogs), but that is pretty much as far as I’ve gotten. I am currently trying different tofu recipes, and quite enjoy them! I know it will be a difficult and drastic change to go vegan, but it’s worth it. Thank you for describing the transformation. I really hope that within about a year I am vegan, but if not, I’m not giving up on my friends (the animals) ♡♡♡.
Cadry
Thanks for your nice comment, Leah! That’s great that you’ve cut hamburgers out of your diet. Keep trying more plant-based recipes, and I’m sure you’ll make lots of new favorite meals. There are a lot of vegan alternatives out there nowadays – burgers, cheese, chicken strips… I bet you could find a lot of easy swaps for the things you already enjoy. Best of luck to you, and thank you for your ongoing goal to live compassionately!
Shell
This is a great post, Cad. I’m sure your words will bring comfort to a lot of people as they navigate their way to a comfortable spot with their new habits.
Christine
What a wonderful story. I jumped headfirst into veganism only about six weeks ago. Worried about my health I started as what I called “a health experiment”. I had been having trouble with weight gain once I hit my 50’s. I tried every fad diet out there and I know I was destroying my health. I was reading a very informative book about how the foods we eat impact the functions of our internal organs. How we are daily putting our body thru what I would call internal trauma. The next day, I went Vegan. Then I looked into the humane side of meat and dairy. Not to mention everything “allowed” in dairy. That alone made me nauseous. I am proud and happy to say, I’m vegan and I make no excuses. I’m also organic, non-gmo. Oh, and I raise chickens….for eggs…..for others. I think they feel good knowing our hens are spoiled rotten. Not to mention fed organic, non-gmo, soy free feed. Thank you for your blog.
Cadry
Congratulations on 6 weeks of veganism, Christine! It sounds like that book and the things you learned about the dairy industry really made an impact on your outlook. Well done!
Amy Katz from Veggies Save The Day
Great article, Cadry! Congratulations on 10 years! I’m almost 5 years in, and while my day-to-day life is easy, social situations and traveling can still be challenging. But it’s all worth it!
Cadry
Thanks, Amy, and congratulations on almost 5 years of veganism! You’re right that the challenging parts are totally worth it for the benefits of living a compassionate life.
Tracy
I’d say it took me about 3 months to feel less stressed and stop crying from hunger or when I had to go to a gathering and was uncomfortable being around things I couldn’t eat. I look back at myself now and laugh because that was 2+ years ago. But it was definitely a difficult shift.
Cadry
You’re so right that those early social gatherings as a new vegan can feel awkward. I’m glad you pushed through the difficult shift, Tracy.
Becky Striepe
This was a great read, Cadry! And I could not agree more – forming a new habit is hard work, especially when you’re having to think about that thing 3-5 times a day. I’m glad you wrote this! Now I have something that I can send to friends and family that feel overwhelmed after going vegan.
Cadry
Thanks, Becky! Yes, becoming vegan affects so many ingrained habits, it makes it a little different than deciding to go on a walk everyday, make your bed in the mornings, or have a piece of fruit with lunch. It’s really a multi-faceted decision. It’s no wonder that people can feel overwhelmed and frustrated. Luckily, on the other side of the growing pains, it’s a lot simpler.
Katie | Delightful Vegans
Loved reading this Cadry! I can definitely relate to what you’ve written, and I’m sure many others can as well. Happy 10 year Veganniversary! Wish I could see your talk at Iowa VegFest too – but it’s a little far from Australia 😉
Cadry
Thank you, Katie! Yes, that would be quite the jaunt for a VegFest, but I appreciate the sentiment. 😀
Marsha
I love this article! So important to remember that change feels uncomfortable, even when it’s really good for you. I’m still trying to make that change but keep returning to “normal” and “comfortable.” This will help me to remember that eventually the changes will feel normal and comfortable. 🙂
Cadry
Thank you, Marsha! I’m glad to hear it. As humans, it’s hard to push through when things are uncomfortable. We naturally want to pull away from things when they feel strange or difficult. But remembering that it’s part of the process and that it will get easier is reason to keep going. Good luck to you! 🙂
Dianne
This is such a great article! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve moaned about changes to something, and then completely forgotten what I was annoyed with just a few weeks later. It does take a while to turn changes into habits, but it’s quite often worth it in the long run. (And veganism is definitely worth it!)
Cadry
Isn’t it strange how the little things that seem so annoying at first are really only a problem because they don’t fall in line with our habits? I remember when Facebook rolled out its timeline, people were really upset. Now I don’t even remember what it was like before timeline! And I agree, being vegan is definitely worth the initial growing pains.
Mandy
I love this –> “These days, being vegan is as cozy as my favorite towel, fraying at the edges.” I couldn’t agree with you more! This post is wonderful, Cadry and you write so eloquently. Change is hard for a lot of people, especially when you look at it as “giving something up” rather than what you’ll gain. I was vegetarian for 15 years before I finally dove head first into veganism…I had blinders up and didn’t want to give up cheese, but the day I took those blinders down my life changed. I also celebrated 10 years of being vegan this past January! Vegan cheese sure has come a long way since then, huh?! Thanks for sharing this! I think it will really help those struggling with the pressure to do things perfectly – we’ve all been there in the beginning where we missed the sneaky hidden animal ingredient or made things way more complicated than they needed to be. Like Marlene said above, it’s learning what being vegan means to you and recognizing that there isn’t one specific vegan box – there’s a wide variety and it doesn’t mean we all have to eat tempeh 😉 Wish I could come see you speak at Iowa VegFest – how exciting!
Cadry
Thank you, Mandy! You are so right that change is hard when people think about what they are giving up versus gaining. Before you go vegan, I don’t think there’s even an inkling that you WILL be gaining things. Not only are there all of the fruits, vegetables, nuts, grains, beans, and seeds that you’ve just never noticed before. There are the cuisines you may have passed over. (I’d never tried Ethiopian food before going vegan, and now it’s my favorite.) But best of all, there’s the sense of peace that comes with living a compassionate life. Congratulations on 10 years of veganism!
Janis Ware
These are great thoughts, Cadry. I especially like the analogy with a new pair of shoes. They are a little uncomfortable at first, but you don’t stop wearing them! What time are you speaking at the VegFest? Of course, I’ll be there!
Cadry
Thank you, Janis! Yes, we’d really miss out if we threw away shoes every time they didn’t quite fit right at first. You’ve got to give things time to feel comfortable, natural, and broken in. I’m scheduled for 2 to 3 at the VegFest. However, I am planning on talking for 30 to 40 minutes, followed by questions. I look forward to seeing you there!
Marlene
I love this. It is so right on! I’m only 2 1/2 years into veganism, cold turkey. One day I wasn’t vegan, the next I was. All brought about by the Holistic Holiday at Seas cruise where we sat in seminars and learned about the connection between food and health and my husband who was not there at all to learn, or even really care much about the topics, was the one who heard the facts, and declared, “we are never eating eggs again” at one seminar, and the next day “crap, when we get home, we are never eating cheese again”. We’ve never looked back, and have transitioned from first a whole food, plant based approach to a more vegan lifestyle. It is a journey, and you have summed it up so well. It’s not all or nothing and you will continually learn what being a vegan means to you, and it is not black or white, so people shouldn’t worry about trying to fit “in” the box labeled vegan, or outside of it. I think that makes it easier to commit to, knowing it is not “pass/fail”.
Cadry
I loved hearing what inspired you and your husband to go vegan, Marlene. That’s amazing that your husband wasn’t at all interested in making changes, but was inspired after the seminars on the Holistic Holiday at Seas cruise. It’s great that it’s something you’ve done together. Congratulations on 2 1/2 years!